21 June 2006 - Jungle Drums and Monkey Magic

Mucho has happened since we left Salvador. Having left it so long to update my journal the towns have now merged into one.

We flew from Salvador to Recife which was the almost the same price as taking a hardcore bus. No discussion to be had.

Olinda had been recommended as a quaint place to stay close to Recife with cobble stone streets, lots of Dutch colonial architecture and nice restaurants. It was better to take some time out to recuperate from our antics in Salvador and get the sensation back in my legs! Damn Capoeira.

What a stupid assumption! Despite staying in a gorgeous Poussada (Poussada D´Olinda with a small swimming pool, lovely gardens and a spacious loft room - NOT A CHANCE OF A BIT OF PEACE AND QUIET!!!

No matter where you go in Brazil there is someone twat*ing something with a hammer, drums in every nook and cranny, whistles, packs of dogs barking and generally people making a racket. A big tip - take some earrplugs and sun glasses to block out the green and yellow. There is no escaping it.

One night we were invited out by a friend of a friend in Recife which a short bus ride from Olinda. It was gayclub and crap which was slightly surprising, so we made our excuses and joined the street party for some samba and Capirinhas from our favourite friends on the street´s booze stalls. Afterwards we went to the Downtown Club which was full of kids and tos*ers but we made the most of it and have some stories from that night that will have to stay on tour! All good though.

Marcus a street guide gave us a walking tour of Olinda and then we bailed out with our backpacks and took a cab to Praiha de Pipa. This is a surfers beach resort which is pretty hip and popular in high season and weekends. The poussada we stayed at was called Mar Y Sol and was managed by Fatima a really lovely woman who looked after us. Rooms and breakfast are nice. Go for it.

Natal was the next destination. Lucas a stunning Argentinian friend of Kellyann´s lives there. Ponta Negra is where we chose to stay in a Poussada called Rosa Nautica on the front. Gorgeous with lovely rooms and friendly staff. About 3 metres from the beach. Well handy. We stayed for about 5 days, sunbathing, watching the opening world cup matches, eating and drinking and generally having a laugh with Lucas.

One day I went Dune Buggying with the girls. This involved sandboarding, swimming in a lagoon, visiting beaches and the wall of death and some other maniac activity which Kell and Becky loved. I couldn´t be arsed on this day so I opted out and took the photos.

The best day in Ponta Negra was when Kell and I asked some fella if we could borrow his body board and had a laugh amongst the surfers on the beach, trying to avoid being decapitated by their surf boards. Kell copped off but declined. A surfer kept eyeing her up and was like ´so you want a go of my surf board´.

The same day we did yoga on the beach and loads of stupid things like cartwheels, headstands and practiced Capoeira, a really good laugh frightening the locals.

I should add that we were told by Fatima, don´t stay in Ponta Negra because you will get held up at gunpoint. Ok, well, there were loads of dodgy looking people and prostitutes but the closest we came is when a lady boy said to me about Lucas ´I want your husband´, very amusing.

One night we went to a club called the Tavern a few streets back from the front with a gang of Brazilian guys we met in a bar. One was a complete dic*head but we humoured him. The rest of them were cool. I made a mate who is a Brazilian Lawyer. At least I know who to call if I get into trouble. Kell was stalked by some fella but successfully managed to get rid and Becky met prince Harry. All in a day´s work.

On the last night we met Judge Judy in a cafe bar. Becky befriended a mental girl called Daniella from Sao Paulo who took too much of a shining to me and had about 8 cans of Skol so she could progressively start to abuse Becky about not knowing enough Portugese. She told us how she is training to be a judge. God help the Brazilian justice system, she was a bloody crackpot.

Onwards and upwards we arrived in Fortaleza. Nahh not really it was a dump but we only had a few hours to kill before our flight to Manaus. We were going to AMAZONIA!!! It was so exciting and never let me down.

Hotel Continental in Manaus should have an award for the pissiest, dirtiest, most unfriendliest and corrupt hotel in Manaus. It is rated as ok in the guides. Give it a miss, everywhere you point your face it stinks of pis*. In fact the whole of Manaus was dirty, stinky, rubbish everywhere and just seemed to smell of pis*. There seemed to be a hotline between the hotel and the Amazon tour touts because we had people turning up at breakfast, stopping us in the hotel lobby, knocking at the hotel door and calling the room. They were in cahoots for sure. What I learned and which may be important for those reading this and wanting to take a tour is that you should pay a bit extra to get the tour you want through a reputable agency because there are a lot of real cowboys who will take your money, promise you the world and you may have a terrible time. It is not worth the risk. Our tour for 3 nights and 4 days was R$700. A little tip - Selvatur were brilliant and consequently who we chose to go with.

The world cup was our distraction, we donned our Brazil T shirts and went to watch the match. There was a spot in a street bar with a telly. Became our regular spot. When Brazil scored, fireworks (massive bombs) were let off out of a tube by my head. Brilliant. Anyway they won so we went to the main square which had a giant building-size football, a samba band, street stalls and a lot of people in yellow and green. The whole of Brazil is yellow and green, pavements, sunglasses, buildings, you name it. The funniest sight was that morning seeing a guy sat in the street putting a pair of Brazil knickers on a tortoise - what was that about...............

The street party continued it was 6pm and we were bladdered. Kellyann met some marines and was chatting to them, this chinny rackon guy with a bandana, thought he had a chance with Becky - errrrr, I don´t think so and I ate loads of crisps!!

I should add at this point I hadn´t eaten a decent meal for a week, I was sick to death of cheese sandwiches and have an announcement to make. I am no longer a veggie. Been ramming the fish down my neck, even went to a shrimp buffet. My mum and dad will be delighted. Been 18 years since I ate fish. Still not going to eat the hard stuff but I will eat fish now and again.

The next day we had some time to get some supplies for the Amazon and then the best part of my trip began.

Ruis our guide picked us up and took us to the meeting of the rivers, Solimoes and Negro on a boat. It was very interesting. The same boat sailed us to Ajacatuba Jungle Lodge. When I arrived I couldnt´t believe my eyes, it was coconut roof round restaurant on stilts and a wooden jetty right in the jungle and we were greeted by 3 monkeys legging it towards us and trying to jump on our heads. One black monkey called Belini - looked like a baby gorilla (think it was) and 2 baby squirrel monkeys, Marcio being the most mischievious. I spent a lot of time with those monkeys over the following days and was sad to leave them.

There were lots of lodges which ran on a generator which was turned off during the night and parts of the day to protect the environment. There is a website you can check out.

The lodges had mosquito nets and were on stilts. The floor was wooden planks with gaps so that creepy crawlies could get inside and so they did. Afterall, I was in the Amazon and it was more their home than mine. That was how I comforted myself.

We arrived in time for lunch which was sumptous and the lady really looked after my veggie weirdo requirements. Great food and I was made-up after the crap I had to eat in Manaus. Monkey managed to get into the lunch room, made a B-line for Kellyann´s plate and started licking her plate like crazy. He was chased and that was the end of that. Well actually he got in every time we ate but it was a laugh.

Ruis told us to get ready for our first outing which was after lunch to a native Indian house. I climbed into the canoe with the others and had a peaceful boat ride down the Rio Negro to the house. Antonio our Captain took us to the Egopo flooded forest and proceeded to drive us through trees, branches, thorns and alsorts of weeds and crap for a laugh and to make it a bit more exciting. We had to duck down constantly but it was funny. The girls thought Antonio had the best body they had even seen, apparantly he even had muscles in his feet. Funny.

At the native house Ruis showed us fruits which we could taste, a local drink which was coffee with a fruit in it called CUPU ACU, absolutely gorgeous. He showed us how to extract Cyanide from the Manioc root and how they make Tapioca from Manioc flour. He showed us wild cinammon and lots of other stuff.

The boat headed back at dusk. We had dinner and had an early night because we had to be up to go on a trip at 5am to see the dawn sunrise.

I slept well despite Becky having found 5 Sapos (frogs in the bathroom that night). At least they eat the spiders.

The dawn sunrise was beautiful and the water was so still except every now and again I saw dolphins popping up on the surface. There were lots of dolphins. In this water you can also find Piranhas and electric eels.

After breakfast I was ready for the jungle walk, long sleeves white top, trousers and my sparkling new walking shoes. Obviously didn´t have a fecking clue. Antonio scared the crap out of us with the boat again and we disembarqued by rugged entrance into the jungle. He donned his machete and off we went. All 15 of us. Antonio cleared the path with his machete as we walked and Ruis stopped to teach us thins about how to survive in the jungle. He showed me how to get water from a vine, how to find milk from a tree called Amapa which can make you feel full for the day, i tasted it and it was rank but similar to Gaviscon. The rubber tree Mulatiro and the cream made out of it that makes you look young was interesting. I may import it by the ship load.

Antonio cut a vine and made a swing. Everyone took their turn. He also shaved the bark of a tree to show us all the black poisonous ants that live inside. Antonio poked a hole in a tree to show me a tarantula - disgusting, I hid behind the guide while everyone took pictures. Lastly, Ruis shoed us how to build a shelter, find somewhere to sleep to be safe and how to neutralise human sweat to keep insects away.

After lunch (are you are getting the picture now, we filled our face for 4 days) we went Piranha fishing. The fish hang around the tree areas but you know what, I never caught a sausage and was not too bothered because I had no intentions of eating the rank creatures anyway. Plus i was too busy trying not to be stung by a swarm of wasps.

Fabio a big guy who constantly took pictures caught a fish and we never heard the end of it.

That night we went Caymen fishing after dinner. This was a defining moment for me in the trip. The sky was gorgeous, really bright and packed with stars, it was pitch black and we were sailing through the Egopo flooded forest in the dark with branches and trees knocking us for side to side. As Becky said, it was like something from Disneyworld except it was real.

When we arrived to the caymen area of the water, Antonio spotted one and waded through the water to catch it. A real-life Steve Irwin, he brought it back for us to see and we had a little lesson on them from Ruis. Kell got a picture taken with it and it snapped at Fabio. Probably pissed off with all the flashing in its face.

We sailed back in the light of the moon and it was so peaceful and quiet apart from the occasional fruitbat flying across the boat. Totally amazing and a once in a lifetime event.

The next day we got up to go to a native village. Oh, and let´s not forget to play with the monkeys.

The village was nothing special but the boat ride on the way was pretty interesting. On the way home from the boat ride we all jumped into the Rio Negro casting aside our worries about electric eels and Piranhas and the water being black makes you look like you have an orange body like you have been tangoed. There are hot and cold spells in the water right next to each other. Everyone got in even the Japanese girls who had every inch of her body covered from the sun. Becky pretended to be a Piranha and pinched someones foot. Entertained us anyway!

It was our last night and it was only right that we got pi*sed with monkey. No kidding, monkey was an alcoholic and loved capirinhas. Becky and I had to move the glass to each other to avoid Belini the monkey getting his head inside it. He got really annoyed with us because we wouldn`t give him any and jumped on my head and ragged my hair out. Then when he realised the drink was Becky´s and not mine he jumped on the table, give her the evils and then jumped on her head to do the same to her. In the end we had to give him the limes and he was wrecked. Staggering everywhere.

The next jungle experience was going to bed. Becky found 4 massive spiders in the room and we had to get the frog man to remove them. When we got to the room, Becky said to me ´don´t go mental but the first spider I saw was on your bed and I tried to get it but it ran into your pyjamas´. Feckin great!!!!

Frog man caught another frog and 3 spiders, one escaped and there was a giant cockroach I couldn´t catch just above my bed.

´I am a scouser get me out of here!!´

There was a guy from New York staying in the lodge who was more scared than me. He found a spider and got frogman. I asked him how he knew there was a spider under his bed and he replied ´I looked because i saw the frog running under there´........ Hilarious.

I was a bit sad leaving my friend monkey but it was time to leave - we waved goodbye as we sailed off whilst monkey laughed and waved with a banana and bits of bacon hanging off his chin.

On the last night in Manaus we decided to see the free local singer at the opera house. I was supsicious when everyone had a blue rinse and musk perfume. Yes, the entertainer was a crooner and the worse dancer on the planet. We could not stop laughing and to make it worse his family were sat behind us so we had to be discreet. Torture.

Hotel 10 do Julio was lovely and much better than the hotel incontinence. So we ended Manaus on a funny and nice note. We headed off to the airport for our flight to ....................COLOMBIA!!!!!!!!