After a few days of recuperation in BA on my own I was ready for my holiday with Toņo.
Except he arrived about 4 hours late on the day and I was seriously worried about him seeing as it was the first time he had been out of Peru in 8 years. Anyway after hunting high and low for him he turned up at the hotel.
We went to Cafe Tortini that night to see a tango/cabaret show. I thought they were terrible and sorry to be horrible but they were the ugliest show people i have seen in a long time. As Toņo put it, the woman looked like the bride of chucky. Pictures to follow!
Toņo spent most of the night calling the waiter Tony. I pointed out to him before we left that he was called Dennis like it said on his badge. We were best mates with Tony/Dennis by the time we left the cafe.
San Telmo is popular on Sundays because of its antiques market and tango shows. We met Kellyann there for lunch but we were an hour late because we had to get footy tickets to see Bocca Juniors versus Estudiantes. We bought them from a sport shop in the centre for 30 pesos in the end. Not the 150 pesos the rip off merchants tried to flog to me a couple of days before.
After a nice lunch we headed off to Boca and had standing seats with the locals. It was brilliant. The atmosphere was electric, everyone was jumping up and down and doing this hitler style arm waving which was a bit worrying but we joined in anyway. I learned a lot of new Spanish swear words and managed to get locked in the bogs. All part of the experience.
The goaly got sent off and one of the other players had to replace him. Estudiantes got thrashed. Unfortunately, the away supporters are situated above the home supporters and there isnīt a full shelter for the home supporters. So you can imagine the buckets of spit that were being chucked below. Disgusting, but we were under cover thank god.
Oh yeh and they had the crappest cheer leaders ever. Bonus!
It was a really hectic day so we headed home to get some sleep so we could get up and see stuff during the day.
I sneekily gave Toņo a job that I didn't want to do. I asked him to ask Susanna to clean the room. She hated him ever since then. He said to me 'she won't look me in the eye or anything, that is your fault for making me ask her to clean the room'. I said to him 'how did you ask her to do it'. He replies, i just said to her 'can you clean the room please'. I found it hilarious. This is the woman i think used to mop up the room with toilet water, it smelt worse once she had cleaned it. She wore the same jumper with stains on it for the 2 weeks that i was there. It was a nice, friendly hotel though.
The next day we went to Evitaīs grave in Recoleta. Toņo wasnīt too interested in any of the others and had to run after me to get me out of there because i was loving the austentatiousness of it all and very snap happy. He was also attacked by a wild cat which was sitting peacefully until i turned up. According to Toņo, cats don't like evil!
Our next jaunt was to the Casa Rosada and the museum at the back. The museum was well boring, the political history of Argentina is too vast for me to sum it up in half an hour in a very dark room. Sack that.
The Cathedral was gorgeous, i loved it. I have a thing for churches, well the architecture of them anyway.
Toņo and I never had a chance to get to the Caminito in Boca on the day of the match so we headed off on bus 29 from Plaza de Mayo.
The Caminito consists of a couple of streets with lovely pastel painted metal buildings, all different colours, there is a market and a few tango shows in the streets and in the bars.
It was funny in the hotel, there was an old man in reception who took 5 times as long as anyone else to do anything. If you asked him a question you would be there for 20 minutes and he wouldn't let you leave even when you said to him that it didn't matter. I made the mistake of asking him about Cafe Canning when i needed a piss. He got all of his maps out and the Argentinian equivalent of the yellow pages and Toņo was sat there laughing with his head in his hands because we couldn't get away. I tried to escape and leave him with the fella by telling him I wanted to go the toilet but he wouldn't give me the keys as a joke so we were both wetting ourselves visibly in front of this fella and both trying to escape. Couldn't help it, then i thought it was all over until i mentioned the street Scalabrini Ortiz and all the maps came out again................
That night i was itching to do tango but we were so lazy that we went to sleep and didn't wake up until midnight, so had missed the classes. Lucky that the milongas only get going at that time. I chose Cafe Canning.
The room was a dancehall with professional wooden floors. There were people dolled up to the nines in their best outfits with gorgeous shoes on and sat around the dancefloor at tables.
Toņo hadn't had his lessons yet and I had learned basic Tango both in the UK and in BA before he arrived so we were never going there to dance because we would have looked like right tits falling over the dance floor. I wasn't going to be having that now was I. The alternative was to get very drunk, watch and admire. Oh, and take lots of photos. Some champions came on and did a splendid performance. bravo to them. I struck it lucky, some old man decided he wanted to gab the hind legs off me. Couldn't understand a word he was saying but nevertheless we had a great old chat.
I think we made it to bed about 7am. The next day we had to take the plane to Iguazu. Nightmare.
I couldn't get out of bed and we had to take the flight at 11am. Toņo packed in about 2 minutes, i was there for ages, you know when you are still pissed and don't know what you are doing. My usual thing is to put things down, pick them up and move them and not be able to find them. It was one of those mornings. Just about made it to the airport and we headed off to the TROPICAL Weather where Toņo could finally get to use his shorts!!
There was a really big fat guy with cool dude shades, designer clothes and very loud sitting next to us. He fell asleep and managed to wedge his elbow into Toņo's neck during his sleepathon. The guy woke up and said 'you ok there', oh yeh fecking brilliant!!! I love wrestling on planes and why don't you just leave your elbow there now you have woken up!!!
When we arrived we searched the streets for somewhere good to stay, there weren't many options and after avoiding being ripped off by some agency we settled on Los Helechos. A proper hotel with a lovely room and a nice breakfast at last.
Upon arrival we were informed that a blockade to the airport and the park had started that very day in protest to taxes, petrol prices and some other thing. I couldn't believe it, i hoped that we could get to the park the following day.
The next morning we arrived at the bus station only to be told, not a chance in hell. It was plastered all over the news and there was a TV channel in the hotel room that just showed pictures of Iguazu with people in the background. Was this the closest we were ever going to make it to the park?
There was nothing much else there besides the park. We took a walk to Las tres Frontieras to see where Brazil, met Argentina and Paraguay. Had some lunch and walked to the port to take a boat trip. On the way home I spotted a gym that did Tango lessons and we booked onto that for the night time.
After purchasing a bottle of vino in the supermarket we headed off to the hotel pool to sunbathe and get pissed. The weather was gorgeous.
Marching on we went to tango lessons and i have to admit ,it was fecking hilarious, proper belly-laughtastic as Toņo tried to wizz me around the dancefloor. I am not saying he was crap because he wasn't but every time he got it wrong he blamed me and said I wasn't following. I had to point out that if I had followed I would be on the deck. The guy kept putting him right and correcting him by dancing with him as a couple. Fecking funny. Had to get a picture of that one!!
He was getting angry with himself for getting it wrong, stress city set in and all I could do was laugh. Really enjoyed it and so did Toņo so that was the main thing.
The next day (our last day in which we could visit the falls) we got up at 6am to see if we could get there before the blockade. It was a nightmare because when we got to the bus station we were told, no chance the blockade stayed overnight and the government are feeling the pinch now. The airport was closed, the park was empty and all was at a standstill. For feck's sake. We got talking (well I did) to an Irish bloke called Jim and under duress from Toņo who wanted to storm the blockade, we shared a taxi to the picket line.
I was talking to Jim by the big bommie and i looked around and Toņo had vanished. Where the hell was he. Well he was only right in the middle of the picketeers having a good old laugh with them. Didn't really matter what he said to them though, their blockade of upside down bicycles and motorbikes wouldn't let us past.
As this was the third day of the picket and the government were feeling the pressure there was going to be a decision at 10am. It was 9am and we were eagerly awaiting. There were people with suitcases and backpacks. One Argentinian picketeer was arsing about and pretending to interview people with his mobile phone, he interviewed Toņo and for a laugh he said something like ' i agree with everything you have said now can you let us past'. They cracked up laughing and took the piss out of us. Best mates around the bommie after that. A French girl was bawling her eyes out because they wouldn't let her past. What was the point of that???
Anyway Jim took a moment to go and talk to some people he knew and at that moment we saw an opportunity to be scabs and cross the picket line. The guy wasn't going to let us but our jokes must have paid off because this old guy says ' let this shitty little group through, what are they going to do? nothing!!!' I was so made-up, we legged it past all the buses and cars queuing up and ran up the road. We flagged a cab, got ripped off but when we got to the park, there was no staff so we walked in for free. Brucey bonus!!!! We had the park to ourselves.
An hour later we heard that the tourists had stormed the blockade in front of the TV cameras. The TV cameras were filming us as the first people to get into the park. It was such a laugh.
The park was brilliant, the upper and lower falls were amazing, devils throat was impressive and there were lots of rainbows. We took a tour which involved taking a boat into the falls. Wearing yellow macs the boat headed into the water and it was so powerful. Astonishingly enough there was a rainbow in the fall and we were actually under a rainbow. Getting drenched was class!! it was like Alton Towers all over again. Ha ha.
I had combats on which dried in about 20 minutes, Toņo had jeans on and they were wet for most of the day. NICCCE!!!
Much to my surprise there was a lot of wildlife in the park, i was really impressed. I thought it would be scared away. It was nice to get back to the hotel that night and be able to relate to that bloody TV channel with the pictures of Iguazu. Thanks god we made it at last and what an experience.
Toņo is an engineer like me and has a thing about mines because they are in his family, hence he wanted to visit Las Miņas de las Piedras. Quartz mines located on the way to the airport. It was pretty fascinating looking at the mines and how the minerals are produced and extracted. Maybe i am just a saddo too. I like things like that.
Our final stop was the airport to fly back to BA.
In our last days in BA we went to the local park in Palermo 'El Parque 3 de Febrero' which has a rose garden called 'Rosedal'. It wasn't the season for roses but the park was packed because it was a Sunday and pretty cool. The botanical garden was ok too but it was rammed with wild cats. I don't know what that was all about.
There was also a crazy clown at the traffic lights who was seriously crazy and not in a good way. Steered well clear of him the weirdo. For all of you who have a fear of clowns this was number 9 on a scale out of 10 for scariness.
We visited another cemetary to see the grave of Carlos Gardel the famous tango singer and then Toņo's mission was to have a Parilla before we left BA. A parilla is whole animals on scewers around a fire and they shave off bits off bit of meet and give you them on a hot plate, practically rare. A vegetarian's dream, i had to have my back to it and I am embarassed to say i didn't have anything to eat, just a drink. Toņo scoffed the lot. The restaurant was called La Estancia and the waiter tried to sneak off with Toņo's credit card. Cheeky fecker. The waiter looked like Dracula. Big teeth (a row of bombed out houses as Kellyann would say) and slacked back black hair.
After stocking up on Dulce de Leche and wine for his family I went with Toņo to the airport to wave him off and returned to BA on my lonesome. I spent the last day buying a few presents and getting my hair dyed black. Plus, butchered by the sweeny tod of beauticians. The worst manicure and pedicure i have ever had.
I left the hotel and stopped a cab in the street to go to the airport. I have never shit myself so much. He stopped the car turned around and kept staring at me. I thought, f*ck it is the bone collector, i am going to be murdered. I have survived 4 months in South America and on my last day i am going to be murdered.
I tried to take control of the situation my suddenly being quite forthright and cold with him and we headed off to the airport. I had been there before and didn't recognise any of where this guy was taking me and the panic was starting to build. He was asking me if I was travelling alone, was anyone going to be at the airport, so i lied profusely, yeh like a big army of Capoeiras and they are going to kick your bone collector arse.
The relief on my face when we arrived at the terminal. He got out of the car and gave me a creepy once over again but I didn't care, i was home free.
On the plane, the guy one but next to me had halitosis and this was at the beginning of a 9 hour journey. All I could think was, shit this is the beginning, imagine what it is going to be like in 5 hours. I asked to be moved and made the excuse that i wanted an aisle seat to the people next to me. Much to my horror, they offered to swap seats. It took some lies to get out of that one. I ended up sat next to this fella who was really clean and smelt of lovely aftershave and the irony of it was that I couldn't stop farting. Ha ha.
What a great end to my adventure!!!
Argentina
Bookmark this page with: